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Posted by / 07-Aug-2017 16:08

He’s engaging in what is, for all intents and purposes, a transactional relationship or a particularly grind-y MMO quest line.

In his mind, by acting like her friend – doing her favors, spending time with her, giving her emotional support at times when her boyfriend is acting like a raging asshole – he’s collecting as many pork-asses as he possibly can until the end of the quest when she breaks up with her boyfriend and he can trade all of those hard-earned pork-asses in for a relationship… The “Nice Guy” has usually bought into the lies that he’s peddling: that he’s really being a good friend to her, that he respects her in ways her asshole boyfriends don’t, that his love for her is a purer, more deserving love than anyone else she might know.

Either the Nice Guy sees an opportunity and makes his move – and gets shot down – or his crush gets a new boyfriend; this is usually seen as the last straw for the Nice Guy.

This event is celebrated in the manner traditional to the Nice Guy’s people: blowing up at the object of his affection for her “betrayal” of him or a long and often embarrassing rant on the Internet all about the perfidy of womankind. See, if you think back, really hard, you might vaguely remember a Platonic guy pal who always seemed to want to spend time with you.

He probably came to realize, one day, that women aren’t really attracted to guys who hold doors open; or make dinners just because; or buy you a Christmas gift that you mentioned, in passing, that you really wanted five months ago; or listen when you’re upset; or hold you when you cry.

He came to realize that, if he wanted a woman like you, he’d have to act more like the boyfriend that you had.

All of the Nice Guy Points he’s accumulated drain away along with the fantasy that he might wear her down to the point that she would give in and he’s forced to acknowledge the ugly truth that it’s just never going to happen.

Whiskey all the while cursing my laptop for betraying me by not magically producing the pages that the DMT elves promised me.

They probably teased you because they thought he had a crush on you.

Given that his behavior was, admittedly, a little pathetic, you vehemently denied having any romantic feelings for him, and buttressed your position by claiming that you were “just friends.” Besides, he totally wasn’t your type.

You valued the aloof boyfriend more than the attentive “just-a-” friend.

Eventually, he took the hint and moved on with his life.

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More time passed, and the boyfriend eventually cheated on you, or became boring, or you realized that the things that attracted you to him weren’t the kinds of things that make for a good, long-term relationship. You used him for emotional intimacy without reciprocating, in kind, with physical intimacy.

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